Thursday, April 17, 2008

PEACE THROUGH FORGIVENESS, LOVE



In the first book that Dr. Luskin published FORGIVE FOR GOOD he advocated the distinction that “forgiving” doesn't mean “forgetting”. Thoroughly confident in his findings, Dr. Fred Luskin promoted the fact that practicing forgiveness leads to better health and happiness, but does not mean condoning bad behavior. What it means is that one should consider a hurt less personally, to take responsibility for how one feels. In the process one even can become a hero instead of a victim in the event Luskin, a practicing psychologist and co-founder of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, shows why the very act of forgiveness is vital in promoting mental and physical health.


The groundbreaking first book by Dr. Luskin from T he frontiers of psychology FORGIVE FOR GOOD offers startling new research about the one missing factor that is vital to Relationships—forgiveness.


A national bestselling author and leading expert on forgiveness, Dr. Fred Luskin shows that no matter how much two people may love each other, their relationship will not Succeed unless they practice forgiveness—an approach that most relationship experts continue to ignore.


Why is forgiveness an essential tool for relationships? Studies reveal that 70 percent for what we argue about at the beginning of our relationships will never be fully resolved. In other words, our basic needs and behaviors don't change over time. The issues are endless: the socks that always end up on the floor how often to have sex, the ESPN obsession, working hours, and, of course, friends and family. Without forgiveness, these issues, however big or small, too easily turn into relationship-eroding grudges.


In his second book, Forgive for Love he shows the solution for your relationship woes by providing the tools you need to find and hold onto the love of your life. The doctor fashions a proven seven-step program for creating and maintaining loving and lasting relationships,

teaching easy-to-learn forgiveness skills that will not only resolve immediate conflicts but improve the overall happiness and longevity of a relationships.


Simply put: people in healthy relationships figure out how to forgive their partners for being themselves. They do so because it is nearly impossible to change other people and because none of us are perfect.


Forgiveness is the key,


Pursuing this line of study, Dr. Luskin later teamed up with Dr. Carl Thoresen at Stanford University and designed The Study of Forgiveness with Victims and Offenders

This work studies five modes of forgiveness training. The study evaluates gender differences in attitudes and willingness with the objective of making forgiveness possible for men and women. According to the findings of these duo of doctors, from a decade-old grudge against the third-grade bully to deep-seated rage against a cheating spouse, it appears that millions of Americans do harbor long-term grievances and this act affects their overall health.


Dr. Carl Thoresen and Dr. Fred Luskin, are now exploring whether the unresolved anger that blights many people's lives can be alleviated with the help of an age-old concept - forgiveness. Based on 25 years of research and working with "Type A" personalities -people who are characterized by impatience, being quick to anger and a harboring of hostility - Thoresen had seen for himself over and over the physical and psychological benefits that forgiveness can bring.


Therefore, it was five years ago that Dr. Thoresen teamed up with Dr. Luskin,

the original author of a highly-structured psychological treatment program that

taught adults about this element of forgiveness. Thus was born, The Stanford Forgiveness Study. Thoresen and Luskin hope the impact of their work will be preventative as well as therapeutic. "It's our hope that family and school violence, including shootings, road rage, gang violence and workplace conflict will be diminished - if not avoided - if more people understand the role that forgiveness

can play in interpersonal relations," says Thoresen, "It takes courage

and commitment to act in a more forgiving fashion. It's not at all a sign

of weakness but a mark of strength."


Friday, April 11, 2008

Filipino journalist wins Pulitzer Prize

Another Filipino American, Jose Antonio Vargas, 27, has won the Pulitzer Prize in the breaking news category. He shares this award with other ‘Washington Post’ reporters for a package of nine stories, two of which he wrote.
Vargas was doubly glad about the award because the paper this time won six Pulitzers, the most it has won in one year.

Vargas' entries were two front page stories on the April 16, 2007 Virginia Tech massacre.

“I was lucky to get an interview with one of the eyewitnesses,” he recalled. “I found this eyewitness on facebook.com. I got him on the phone, we talked for about 25 minutes, and he was the only eyewitness we had on the story, so it was a critical part of it.”

Another story he wrote was on how the Virginia Tech students were using the Internet “to let each other know what was going on, because it was chaotic” at that time.

Vargas confessed that he was told about the good news over the phone Sunday by his editor, but was advised not to tell anybody yet at that point.

Vargas joined the Post in 2004, two days after graduating from the San Francisco State University in California.

He had interned at the paper in 2003 while still a student. He was asked to write for the Style Section at first. Then he wrote about Cristeta Comerford, the first woman and first FilAm White House executive chef.

He said he was proud he won the Pulitzer as part of the team from ‘Post’, the paper that “had toppled a president." Vargas was of course referring to the Nixon administration's downfall when two Post reporters revealed the break into the Democratic Party headquarters on Watergate which led to President Nixon's resignation.

Vargas, in true Filipino fashion, rekindled his childhood days un the care of his grandparents who raised him. He thanked his "Lola Leoning", Leonila Salinas, who raised him in Mountain View, California, together with her husband Ted, and his Uncle Roland.

Vargas who was born in Antipolo, Rizal [a Tagalog town near Manila] came to the U.S. when he was 12.

When his grandpa Ted died, his Lola Leoning was very worried about him for she wanted only the best for him.

“I love her very, very, very much,” he said with much respect about his grandma. “I wish she could understand what this means.

In keeping with Filipino family tradition, his Lola wanted him to be an accountant, an engineer or a doctor, something like that. For these were the "nobler" professions.

“Now that I’m covering the presidential campaign, and appearing on CNN and MSNBC, My lola thinks I’m a real reporter, and is quite happy about it” he added.

He also cited the principal and superintendent at Mountain View High School, “who were like second parents to me.” They helped him get a scholarship from a venture capitalist who financed his college studies.

Vargas also said that nobody wins an award all by himself, and so he credited his mentors, including Leslie Guevarra at San Francisco Chronicle, where he also worked after writing for the Mountain View Voice.

Vargas, stood behind the mural that showed photos of the team that toppled President Richard Nixon over Watergate – the legendary editor Ben Bradlee and reporters Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward. Vargas is single, and is 27 years old. Community leader Maurese Owens said, when told of the news: “Now that he has won the Pulitzer, I wonder how it’s going to be for him.”

Vargas will always have a reason for getting up in the morning, gobbling breakfast and bolting excitedly out the door.

“This has always been a passion of mine, since I started writing at 17,” he said, beaming.

Other Filipino Pulitzer winners are: Cheryl Diaz Meyer, who won in 2004 for covering the Iraqi war as an embedded photographer for the ‘Dallas Morning News’; Byron Acohido and Alex Tizon of ‘Seattle Times’ in 1997, and the Ambassador Carlos P. Romulo, who won the first Pulitzer for the Philippines in 1941.